I can not even imagine a wedding for us. Sure we have talked about the getting married thing as a theoretical part of the Marriage Equality Debate, but that is more that "we should be allowed to do it" conversation and not the "how would we do it" one. I would probably be better off to just dig a hole in the backyard and jump into it, pulling the dirt over top of me afterward than to even think about planning a wedding. I am not kidding!
I love him dearly, but just to go out for an evening, there seems to be a thousand little decisions that I have to help Jim make. What shirt should I wear? Sleeves or sleeveless? No not white, I wore that last week. Did I wear this shirt a month ago? Oh...I cant wear it again, people will remember that. This shirt...ok. Light or dark jeans? Which shoes? The tennis shoes (I always say no to the tennis shoes because I do not like them) or the black ones? Necklace or no? And all of that is before he even gets into the shower!!!! I am not even going to go into hair. Our friends always ask why we do not come out til 11 or 12. It's because we are very busy!
Now multiply that by every little decision that would go into planning a wedding. You see what I mean? We would need an army of wedding planners just to pick out tuxedos! So, I do not really see a wedding in the cards, anytime soon.
I am not sure for us, what the point would be anyway. After 18 years, doing a wedding now would be like having a baby shower when the child graduated high school. Not much reason for that as the cute little outfits would have to all be returned anyway, and the diaper supply would be for the parent, not the child.
Maybe, now would be the time for a wedding though. Did you ever think about that? Imagine the money that could be saved if you waited to hold the wedding, after being sure that you were both going to be together long enough to make the investment worthwhile. Of course, by that time, you would find so many other things more pressing to spend that money on like mortgages, retirement, college funds, etc. The wedding industry may not be happy with that plan. Plus, for the ones that did not work out, there would not be all the issues and expenses that go into a messy divorce. The lawyers would not like that either I think. So, I guess the logical plan gets beat out by economics.
After all this time, maybe we could do a wedding. But there is really no need. I think a wedding is a chance to stand up in front of your family and friends and declare your commitment to your the one you love, and they are all there to share in the moment as an unspoken promise to stand by you. Time has done that for us, and our families have done just that. We have been lucky that way. 18 years is a long roller coaster with very big HIGHS and some pretty rough LOWS, but through it all, our families have always stood with us. They have bonked us on the heads when needed and endured the sometimes drama that comes with sharing your life with another. We would have been hard pressed to make it this far without them
As for us, I think we are just stubborn and just plain bull headed. Sometimes it doesn't seem like we will make the next annual marker, but we keep pulling it out. Sure, he wants to strangle me occasionally, today is likely one of those days, but we still laugh, work hard and have fun. We have both grown up so much in this adventure together, know very well, that we have to keep working and growing to preserve what we have fought so hard to build. Yes, STUBBORN but worth it.
So for the imaginary wedding that I have to have a song for. I am thinking...we'll pick up a new white shirt, sleeveless I think, dark jeans,and the black shoes (because I hate the tennis shoes). Yes, to the necklace, yes your hair looks impeccable and yes, I really did look at it. And when the ceremony is all finished and we walk back down the aisle (I am picturing a beach though) to our family and friends that have always been there for us, this song will be playing.
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